Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Holy shit dude........stairs
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
