Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
