life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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