I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
