I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
