sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
