i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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