Dual....:-)
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
