We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
