So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
