He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come on in and take your pants off
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