sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
