peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
