I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
