I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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