Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
