I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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