yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
