Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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