absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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