Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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