Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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