Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
