Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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