Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
