i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
