i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
