I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
