I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
