Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
