i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
