think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
