i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
