What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
