im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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