Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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