I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
