Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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