I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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