mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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