Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
