That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
