People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
