I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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