No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
