She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
either way he was missing a nipple.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Someone signed my nipple.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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