is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
