Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
