it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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