the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
